The State of Success

Success is the ability to define your state in your current situation, no matter what is happening.  I am confident that we would agree that accomplishments without the experience of a lasting positive state (happiness, joy, power) is not really success, or at best it may provide a fleeting taste of success.

Consider the executive who makes millions of dollars yet experiences daily anger and guilt or the valedictorian who graduates with daily sadness and fear.  Perhaps they experience a few moments or a day of happiness and rest because of a particular great accomplishment, such as closing a major sale or graduating.  But once the emotional experience of success fades and is replaced by unhappiness or guilt, there is no longer success.

People may be highly accomplished in terms of tasks, revenue, and outcomes, but without the lasting experience of joy, happiness, excitement, or other love-based emotions, we cannot consider them truly successful.


Success, to me, is defined as the intentional choice and cultivation of the desired love-based states that we then carry through any valley and over any mountain top.  Success is our general experience of life rather than a momentary life experience.

Compare to the executive who comes into her work with a chosen state of excitement and feeling powerful.  She closes a major deal and reaps financial rewards and knows excitement and feels powerful.  Or perhaps the major deal falls apart for one reason or another.  She is able to take full accountability for the outcome and define a path to move forward while continuing to experience excitement and power, because her state is not contingent on what is happening around her.

The usual approach is to experience success as an emotional high that we earn through a particular accomplishment or series of accomplishments.  We all seek to be “successful” because we want to feel certain, positive ways.  We want to feel a rush of power or feel the excitement of a victory.  But the usual approach forgets that we always and already have the capacity to choose and cultivate any emotional state here and now and to intentionally experience any chosen state before, during, and after whatever we do or do not accomplish.

This is where State Design comes in.  State Design is the work of intentionally choosing, defining, and cultivating of our optimal states.  It is developing the ability to choose and maintain any love-based, positive state that we want in and through any situation.  With basic tools, awareness, and routine practice, anyone can design their state and experience successful life.

Feeding Your Life: 1

After we set the vision for the optimal life, we need to feed that vision.  Literally feed.  When we define our vision, we then ask What is necessary to feed and fuel the level of life and activity that we envision as our best life?  If we seek to align ourselves with a lifestyle of adventure and vibrancy, we need to design what nourishment is necessary to fuel and sustain that lifestyle.

water glassThere are scores of diets and products on the market that are advertised to increase energy and mental clarity.  When working with clients, my focus tends to be on fueling life with real food and hydration rather than stimulants, supplements, or complex “bio hacking” techniques.  There may be a place for some basic supplements or products to help tweak and enhance the diet, but I believe the focus should not shift to playing with supplements until the foundation diet is established.

My core message on nutrition is not glamorous:  the cornerstone is hydration.  Most energy and clarity issues come from some level of dehydration, whether caused by an inadequate intake of water or by the consumption of caffeine and alcohol without taking in a proper amount of water to counter their dehydrating effects.  Secondary to caffeine and alcohol is the dehydrating effect of consuming too many refined carbohydrates.  Simply increasing water intake while decreasing the intake of dehydrating fluids and foods often results in an noticeable shift in energy, sleep quality, and mental clarity.

I function at my best when I drink 1-2 glasses of warm lemon water first thing in the morning.  Before bed, I also try to drink 1-2 glasses of warm water to offset water loss during sleep.  Through the day, I still drink coffee, but I try to always do so while properly hydrating.  When I neglect drinking water first thing in the morning and go straight to coffee, I feel a diminished level of energy through the latter part of the morning until I properly hydrate.

The other component of my basic nutritional plan is a focus on real food, which to me excludes all of the various bars, powders, and packaged products that advertise themselves as energy sources wrapped in convenience.  Many of these amount to little more than cookies parading as health bars.  When I take in real foods in the simplest forms of vegetables and meats, then I notice a massive upswing in sustained energy through the day.  Clients of mine who have adopted this basic switch have reported near immediate shifts in their energy and clarity levels over their days.

Once the foundation of nutrition and hydration is established, one can always play with supplements and the current clarity/energy fads, but such products should be seen for what they are…products that may create micro-improvements or pleasant placebo effects, at best.  In the meantime, work hard and cast great visions and define your optimal life, then ask yourself what will be required to feed and nourish the level of action required of you to live that life.

Cheers, with good food, plenty of water, and good health.

Life at the Beach

My daily life is my “life at the beach.”  Vacations are enjoyable, but my daily life of work, time with my kids, time with my partner, and pursuing my interests is frankly more rewarding and thrilling than any vacation.

Yesterday I worked in the sun at the pool-side, spending time developing articles and moving cases toward settlement in between dips in the pool.  I felt joyful, peaceful, and powerful.  My partner studied Ayurveda and designed yoga routines next to me, then switched to preparing for the next day’s discovery meetings with several personal injury clients.  As the sun moved through the sky, we turned our pool-chairs to face the lake and continued learning, creating, and making money for clients.  Through the entire afternoon I stayed dialed in to joy, peace, and power.


My experiences of joy, peace, and power were not caused by the pool or the sun or the lake or my beautiful partner.  Those states were not caused by learning or writing or settling cases.  I could have been anywhere and felt the same states of joy, peace, and power.

Those states were intentional choices made upon waking yesterday morning.  I felt joy because I chose to feel joy.  I felt peace because I chose to feel peace.  I felt powerful because I freaking chose to feel powerful.  And I chose those states because I determined that those particular states would serve me best in my unfolding day.

Just as I chose and choose similar states today.

Life’s a continual beach, and it is a continual beach because of a daily practice of envisioning, creating, and sustaining optimal life here and now.  Optimal life and experience is not caused by traveling somewhere else and doing something out of the ordinary.  Nor is it a reward somewhere out there or down the road at retirement (whatever that is).

Optimal life can be manifested every single day.  Optimal life flows from designing, choosing, and cultivating all the joy, excitement, compassion, and any other love-based states we want, and then envisioning outcomes and taking action each day in alignment with those states.

We don’t have to travel to beaches or go on cruises to find joy and excitement because joy and excitement and all other love-based emotions and states are immediately accessible to us here and now.  Power and love and ecstasy and happiness are always and already within us.  We just need to practice tuning ourselves in and working to cultivate and sustain those states.

When we live daily life in our optimal states, then every situation becomes transformed.  Anywhere becomes our mountain lake.  Or our walk in the forest.  Or voyage at sea.  Or life at the beach.

Four-Sided or Four-Part Breath

When working with clients in my legal practice and on State Design, one of the most effective foundation techniques I teach them to practice is the four-sided or four-part breath.  This breathing technique may be practiced while sitting or standing, and the benefit of proper practice is a settling of the mind and body.

I emphasize proper practice because I have seen plenty of people start breathing in some random, rapid, and shallow way and wonder why the four-sided breath technique is not working.  The reason is that they are not practicing the technique at all by randomly, rapidly, and shallowly breathing.  Obviously any technique cannot work if the technique isn’t being practiced correctly.

Proper practice also involves routine practice.  The four-sided breath improves in quality and effect over time.

Proper technique begins with placing the tongue on the roof of the mouth behind the teeth and touching the tongue to the palate.  The light pressure of your tongue at this spot stimulates the pituitary gland.

Sit in a chair or on the floor with a straight back or stand with a straight and neutral spine.  Relax the arms and shoulders, especially if using the technique while standing.  Gently draw your breath down into your lower abdomen, inhaling for 3-4 seconds.  Pause and hold for 2 seconds.

Exhale fully for 3-4 seconds, focusing on exhaling as completely as possible.  Don’t force the air out harshly, but do try to thoroughly empty the lungs, as the quality of your next inhale will ride on the quality of your exhale.

After the exhale, pause and hold for 1-2 seconds, then gently draw the breath back in to the low abdomen over 3-4 seconds and repeat the cycle.

If using the four-sided breath in the midst of a challenging situation or negative state, repeat the cycle for at least 4-5 rounds and allow the mind and body to settle.

I encourage clients to dedicate time to practice this technique for 10-20 minutes every day.  During practice, allow your thoughts to rise and fall as they will.  Acknowledge the thoughts and let them go, returning to the breath.  No matter what arises, positive or negative, simply note it and return to the breath.  Longer-term practice of the technique will help make the centering and calming effects practically automatic and readily accessible in any situation.

In my legal practice, I can use this technique during hearings and depositions and during intense negotiations and meetings.  At home, I can use the technique when the children are acting like hooligans.  At times when I find myself in a fear-based state like anger, I use the breath to shift into a chosen optimal state.

The four-sided breath allows me to stay centered and focused in and through any situation and creates the space necessary to intentionally choose my optimal states and responses.  In daily life, I use the four-sided breath to center myself, choose to embody a state of joy or power or compassion, and then reengage the situation before me.

I have seen clients use the technique to shift from anxious and fear-based states to joyful and love-based states in a matter of a few minutes.  I have seen clients shut down anxiety and shift to power and love after a few rounds of breathing.  The four-sided breath settles the mind and body and creates the space to choose your optimal state and engage life from that chosen state.  The key, as mentioned before, is proper practice.